Some parting thoughts on life in China

As we head home from our year in China, I thought I would put down on paper some general thoughts I had on various daily topics.

Chinese children:

Who you never see out and about in China are school aged kids and teenagers. We only see them out playing in the countryside or between 5:00 and 6:00 pm at the shops outside of school on Sundays. Otherwise, they are preoccupied with school. They go to school 6 days a week and have homework on holidays and weekends. In fact my students have already started back to school for the next term before we have even moved home, less than one month after the school year just finished. They don't complain unless prompted and they don't seem to worry other than for the major entrance exams for high school (Zhong Cao) and college (Gao Cao). They follow a strict schedule without even knowing the schedule. They simply follow orders. They don't know what time they wake up or when class starts because both happen with the sound of a bell.  Because they work so hard and in school remain with one class of students all the way through school (based on performance) they develop incredibly close relationships with their peers.  They call their friends "sister" and "brother." They don't seem jealous of others in their class nor very competetive.  They truly have a group mindset.

Children playing with us in Nanfang (factory town south of Zhuzhou)

Chinese Babies:
Babies in China seem to cry very infrequently. They are always given attention and are usually held. Babies did not seem to have toys, just junk like an empty coke can, a noodle bowl or a fan.
I have seen very few strollers here. Sometimes they ride in an animal-shaped car or toy that is either self-pushed or has a handle for the adult to push. Parents also put babies on their backs, wrapping their arms behind their back to support the baby's bottom. Among the minority groups and in the countryside people would use a cloth rope that crossed in front of the adult's chest in an 'x' then wrapped under the baby's bottom and back, squeezing the baby against the parent's back. The parent would bend over with the baby strapped like this and it looked to me like the baby could easily pop right out. Sometimes a child-size, bulky bamboo chair would be tied to an adults back with rope, like a backpack, for the child to sit in.

Bamboo baby carrier

Anyone and everyone in China would hold and play with babies, even strangers. Watching babies seemed to be the national pastime. I think people in America would get bored with a stranger's baby or annoyed when they peed on the floor next to their train bed. But not here, everyone wants to hold and play with them! Even the parents and grandparents never seem to tire of playtime. Some of the dorm moms at our school raise their grandchildren too. Most likely the parents are living in another city for a job. All of the dorm staff sit outside with the kids, watching them play and smile. I love to watch fathers interact with their child. They are outwardly loving and giddy and seem to feel no shame in playing childish games. They race their toddlers down the street, make funny noises with new babies, and stare dreamily at the lifeless body of their sleeping child for hours on long bus rides. I wonder if Western men feel the same way but culturally are ashamed to show it. I also wonder if the one-child policy makes a parent's bond with their only child just that much stronger. I actually expected more affection to be given to boys than to girls, but the fathers seem to love them all the same. There do seem to be more boys than girls and I understand that this is a concern for the country as a whole.

Here I have jotted down some "mental pictures" of babies and children worth remembering:

- Outside the frog restaurant ramp was a woman with her granddaughter in a crude wooden low crib with a tiny bamboo mat to lie on top of - no sheets of course. The baby had no pants on and was rolling on her back with her legs up and spread apart (like yoga happy baby pose). Grandma was furiously fanning the baby in the summer night's heat.

- Two young boys age 3 or 4, one with a flower pinwheel, were chasing each other and giggling in Yandi square.

- A man walking around Yandi square watching the nightly dance group while holding a 6 month old baby. He was holding the baby in front of his body with one arm folded horizontally under the baby's bottom and the other arm folded in front of the baby's chest. The baby then appeared to be sitting up, leaning forward against the support of the parent's upper arm.

- Boy haircuts were interesting. Some had a patch of thick hair at the top front of their forehead. Some boys have little rat tails or skinny long braids in the back

- Sandals that squeak with each step are very popular. You can hear them as the baby takes uneven steps trying to chase behind mom or dad.

- Babies are often dressed in cute hats too. Many baby hats have little bear-like ears sticking out at the top. Some winter caps have braids hanging on each side. And in the summer, boys are given do-rags. They look like miniature gangsters!

 - Going to the bathroom: Mom squats on the sidewalk or wherever and holds the baby below his thighs so the baby is floating in the air, low to the ground, in a squat position but with feet angled up and out. Mom would then make a sound "shhhhh" and the baby would pee right there, leaving a puddle on the ground right in front of the mom. Sometimes the mom would hold the baby in this same position over a trash can, potted plant, or sink and do the same thing. Older children even up to age 6 would squat anywhere and go (i.e. the tree bed at Shenlong park, doorway to the bathroom at Carrefour, or a grassy patch outside the shops at Er Zhong.)
- Baby pants have a huge oval hole in the bottom so the front and back are open to the air. Little boys squat to play in the dirt and their privates hang low, nearly touching the ground. You always know if a baby is a boy or a girl around here! I love seeing babies who are new at walking trying to waddle around with their cute butts exposed. My favorite is in the winter when the babies are wrapped up in multiple thick layers of clothing with the outer layer being a long-sleeved thick version of a hospital gown that ties in the back. The babies look like marshmallows and are barely able to walk in their fat suits. Regardless of how many layers were added, the baby still had a huge hole in the bottom of his pants, making the most sensitive parts as cold as could be!

Slit in pants for easy curb-side toileting

The older generations:
The elderly are active in their own ways. They raise the grandchildren and cook for their working child and his or her family. Generally, the husband's mother will live with the family, but it can vary. The older men and women can be seen slowly walking up and down the streets, sitting together in the doorway of houses, exercising in the square, playing cards or mahjong outside with neighbors, and caring for children. They shuffle their feet when they walk (usually in house slippers even outside). They look 10 to 20 years older than they probably really are. Nursing homes don't exist as far as I can tell and it's rare to see a wheelchair or assistive device. The older women often wear loose fitting shirt and pants in mismatched floral patterns. Old men wear what we affectionately call the "Mao suit," which is a navy, boxy jacket with bold straight lines, buttons and 2 breast pockets with matching suit pants. Often they wear a brimmed, flat hat to match. Both men and women can be found in their pajamas out in public too. The women wear thick polyester PJ's in the winter that don't even allow their arms to rest against their sides. They all wear slippers outside. I will never forget seeing an old man walking down the street, shuffling along wearing fuzzy slippers with a teddy bear face sewn on top. The older people in China are strong and resilient. They can survive the heat and the biting cold. They can cook in the worst kitchens. They can climb to the top bunk of a moving train and squat over toilets as the train sways side to side. I've heard it many times before that they are content and strong through it all because frankly, it's ten times better today than it was when they were growing up. They've seen and lived through worse. This life is good.

 Older gentleman relaxing in the park

A grandmother who worked at our school and cared for her grandaughter

The Bunny Hop Dance as a form of group exercise in the park

Serious card game outside their apartments

Chinese adults:
Both men and women work in China.  If they are middle class (own a shop) they often work together keeping the shop.  Sometimes their parents help as well.  The men smoke and drink as a sign of manhood.  Dinner and banquets are always an importan part of daily life.  For professionals, the important decisions are all made at the banquet dinner after some bai jiu (rice wine) and beer.  In business, hierarchy is extremely important as well.  You get to the top by usually being a communist party member and knowing the right people.   Guanxi, or owed favors, are important in both social and business worlds: You do something for him, he will do something for you.

I think adults tend to grow up with a lack of appreciation for organizational skills, likely due to never having to manage their own schedules or prepare projects when they were in school. In their jobs they do not work hard to meet deadlines or to go home early on Fridays. Teachers at our school were told to be in their office from 7 am to 10:30 at night. If they have no work to do, then they watch movies or basketball or they play games on the computer. People can be sleeping on the job all across China: a cashier asleep with head on cash register while no one is checking out, teachers at their desks, construction workers on a bench.  I suppose the teachers have to be in the office prepared for any unexpected schedule changes that may arise at any moment! Several times we have missed teaching classes because the schedule changed at the last minute and we weren't sitting in an office, twiddling our thumbs, waiting for just such an occasion. Once I even received a phone call 20 minutes after the class should have begun. Another time JuJu called David and said "can you teach class now?" while he was in the middle of getting his haircut. This lack of planning brings me to some thoughts on travel in China....

"Gan bei" or bottoms up at a banquet with Jr 2 English teachers

Chinese Travel:

If a person never planned his or her day (when to wake up in order to make it to class on time or even how long to study) then they had very few decisions to make on their own. They don't really have political decisions to make either. Most people don't vote according to JuJu. If they do vote, they vote for a party member they "trust." Then this party member votes. No one knows how he will vote so it is not like and electoral vote. So if this was your life, filled with last minute information and no need to reason, plan ahead, or make your own decisions, then planning a vacation would be a daunting task. As I would have expected, they join group tours. Otherwise, they would be expected to make reservations and plan ahead. Besides all of that, they like to be with outer people and to be entertained, so the guide can double as a comedian. Chinese tour groups are nearly all the same: a group of people in matching caps (usually red with a fake brand logo) and gym bags to match. The leader carries a flag and yells over the lapel microphone. They are very loud and tend to ruin the experience for others trying to enjoy the view sans tour. They jump on and off a bus to hit only the highlights. They take videos and pictures of nearly everything, including themselves dressed up in a costume corresponding with the site. The girls pose and put on a sexy, pouty face. The men refrain from smiling at all.  We also found it interesting that most people preferred to take the train than a plane or bus, even though the train took longer.  They say it is more comfortable.  I personally can't think of anything more uncomfortable, from pushing and shoving your way on the train, to trying to sleep in a lit open room with hard beds (or in a non-reclining chair or on the dirty floor) and standing room only people standing around right by your head.  They really enjoy meeting, chatting, drinking tea, and sharing food on the train with friends and complete strangers.  It is a tradition and a huge part of their culture.  Most have never flown nor can afford it, however we found flights within China to be very comporable to train tickets, most likely in an effort to build a following from the current train travelers.

Taking photos in front of Mao's childhood home

Waiting to board our train in a mad dash for seats or floor spots

Dating:
I've heard that it is preferable and honorable to marry your first boyfriend or girlfriend in China. Tyler, our friend and senior English teacher, aged 24, said he didn't want to go on dates with girls because he didn't want to seem like a "changeable man." For the most part, they are uncomfortable with dating and they act like 5th graders when they get their first boyfriend in college. Sandi told us one night in a very serious tone, "I have something to tell you...I have a boyfriend." We were excited for her and began to probe, "oh is he nice?" She responded bubbly, "I don't know! We do not have much time. I only met him once." She told us that only her sister knows she has a boyfriend and not the other sister because she would tell her parents. Rock has had a few girlfriends, the latest being a girl he met in June's hometown on an educational trip to encourage students to study English. They saw each other for 7 hours and he was already telling her he would make her happy. As it turned out a few weeks later they had to "give up" (Chinglish for breakup). He didn't tell Ashley, who met the girl on the trip, because she might say "what a pity." Dating rituals for young adult include the guy holding the girl's over-sized purse and/or umbrella for her; buying her a flower, lantern, or kite in a public square as they walk and talk; or simply sitting together on the grass, as close as humanly possible, in the park (preferably at night). Students in school are not allowed to date and will be kicked out of school for doing so.  Even if they are caught kissing or holding hands, they are out!  I personally believe this is part of the reason the Chinese children appear so immature and young.  Then when it comes time to date and marry, they are inexperienced in relationships and often find themselves marrying the first person they date, assuming they will be great for each other.  Even when college students or older are "dating," they rarely see each other or talk.  They barely even know each other!

Planes, trains, and automobiles!!!
Public City Buses typically cost 1, 1.5, or 2 yuan per ride. You cannot get change, so if you don't have exact change you stand at the front of the bus to collect change from new passengers. At a busy time of day there is often standing room only. If you are lucky, you can catch a seat. The floors and seats of the bus are very dirty and covered with food, and chewed up beetle nuts. One time Ashley sat in baby poop on the bus! They do serve as a good opportunity for people watching!

Cars are a luxury not many people have. Just this year China started allowing loans for automobiles, so this may be changing soon. Those who are lucky enough or rich enough to have a car, like to decorate them! First, everyone has seat covers. Taxis use cloth seat covers with ads covering the head rests. Personal cars were usually decorated with lace or crocheted seat covers, covered in knots that were uncomfortable to sit on. People often put decorative pillows in the back window of the car. Of course the dashboard had, at minimum, one decorative item such as a solar-powered plastic flower with flapping leaves. Oh, and seat belts are actually removed from the back seat of all taxis!  But the really exciting part about cars in China is the driving!  Often it is acceptable to drive down the street the wrong way if the street is not too busy.  They don't mind speed limits, red lights, or use signals.  It is completely chaotic!  Ironically because many people have been hit or nearly hit in the road and intersections by crazy drivers, Zhuzhou installed many pedestrian watchers.  Yes, that's right, they decided to fine the pedestrians, not the drivers!  These glorified "safety patrol" workers were hilarious!  Most were old ladies in high heels, regular clothes, and an orange safety vest and whistle to make them look official.  If you jay walked, two or three patrollers (yes there were that many together at nearly every light) would try to run and catch you.  They would link arms and try to grasp you in a circle or against a wall.  Then they would give you a piece of paper with a stamp on it and tell you that you owe them 20 yuan.  Most young people managed to get away in a comical sceene of red-rover gone wrong.  We were stopped once and managed to frusturate the worker so much by our inability to speak Chinese that she finally gave up. 

Financing and loans for the purchase of cars just became available while we were living in China.  This is expected to result in many more car purchases, hence more cars on the road.  All I can say is China better get it's driving rules and systems down soon, because this will be a terrible mess with even more cars on the road.

Our taxi ride from Changsha to Zhuzhou with our parents



Many other vehicles shared the roads with cars and buses in both the cities and countryside. Three-wheeled, rusty mini-trucks (like a moto with an attached bed) were common for carrying loads of trash, recycling, watermelons, etc. The piles were so high that there was no way the driver could see behind him!

Motos and moto-taxis were very common as well. They could fit up to 5 people (including small children) on motorcycles. If it was only 2 people, the girl usually would sit side saddle. They would do this on bicycles too which looked to me like it would take more effort to balance yourself on the back than it would to just walk. When small children rode on a moto, they usually stood between the drivers legs on the floorboard and would hold onto the middle of the handlebars. Mothers would hold infants in their arms and older children would sit between adults on the seat. People could, and did, carry nearly anything on a moto: large pieces of artwork, long pipes, children's toy cars, "store-opening" balloons, and more! Very few people wore helmets and those who did were usually moto-taxi drivers. They wore construction-worker helmets with the chin strap pulled over the top of the helmet. So unless a 2x4 board randomly were to fall from the sky on their head, I don't think they were well protected. Some ingenious ideas were the moto-poncho, some with 2 holes for two people riding together, and the oval shaped moto umbrella.

Moto taxis outside our school

Trains are the most preferred method of travel. I've heard on more than one occasion that I should take the train instead of the bus because the train is more comfortable. They really enjoy train rides! People will bring lots of food and snacks to share with friends and strangers alike. They drink tea or hot water (provided on board) from old jars. They chat, nap, chat again, and play with babies. The Chinese are pros at sleeping under any condition, managing to still wake up refreshed and ready for a new day. I think they are so used to uncomfortable beds in crowded houses while sleeping in their clothes that they don't have any trouble sleeping on a train, sitting upright, with the lights on! They don't frequently shower, so getting ready for the day on a train is not much different than at their home. Actually, some homes probably don't have running water, so it's easier on the train!

 Crowded train on a national holiday

 Hard sleepers were 3 beds high and open to the walkway

Wok with me!

We loved Hunan food!! Home cooking and restaurants were terrific! We were surprised by the variety of food available too. I expected to get bored of "Chinese food" but I definitely didn't. Granted, I did crave other types of food not available here, but I never grew to dislike the food from Hunan. We really got used to eating rice too. We learned however that rice is eaten at the end of the meal, not usually with the food like we do in America. Pork was the most popular meat in Hunan, and in fact, was often directly translated as "meat" or "ro." In the winter, dog was often eaten, with which we unfortunately had several close encounters. We never ate it, but it was very evident to be a winter staple.

Iron skillet beef (with cumin) and cauliflower

In the summer, it was popular to eat steaming hot, fresh food prepared by street vendors who parked their mobile kitchens behind Yandi square and in Nanfang. Restaurants by the river were also seasonal, and would have been pleasant had the river not been so polluted and the surrounding so industrial. The fish from the rivers probably weren't the healthiest to eat. We labeled our favorite restaurants by the food we ordered there because we usually didn't know the real name: "Frog leg restaurant", "dumpling restaurant", and "Chicken restaurant". There was one exception in the made-up name for the hand-pulled noodle shops we called "Wo Yao Zhege", meaning "I want that", because they always had a large poster on the wall with pictures of the foods they made. We would walk into any of these Muslim restaurants, point to the picture that looked most like what we wanted, and say "Wo yao zhege." Eventually, with our new friends' help, we learned the names of our favorite noodle dishes but the name of the restaurant never changed.

Cumin beef and eggplant prepared by temporary street vendors behind Yandi square

The food was always changing as the seasons changed. One day, the fruit stands would all become full of pineapples. We would gorge on delicious, ripe pineapples until they were all suddenly replaced by the next season's fruit. Mangoes were a wonderful surprise and they came in many different varieties and sizes, down to candy sized. We enjoyed the palm-sized mangoes that were easy to peel, sweet as dessert, and had a flat seed in the middle that served as a popsicle stick and made it easy to pull the mango flesh off with your teeth. When watermelons were in season, that was all they had in some of the fruit stands. When I asked "are these the same" the answer was an adamant, "no!" They had different names for all the different types of watermelons!

Fruit stand in the old village outside our school

At the large outdoor market, the vendors began to really know us and us them. We knew who had the best of a particular produce. The lady who sold tomatoes would always pull out her hidden box of tomatoes for us to choose from because we often bought so many (in an effort to make spaghetti sauce from fresh tomatoes). We always came with our large backpacks and attempted to buy a week's worth of groceries. This made the locals laugh because they typically would buy just enough for that day or that meal since most did not have refrigerators. The biggest surprise I thought was that there were very few onions, and never any white onions. Red onions were available in the winter and leeks in the summer. They really don't use them that much though. Live chicken and fish were for sale in the back, which we bought once with Jasmine's help. They killed the bird and plucked the feathers for us at an additional cost, which was well worth whatever they charged. We came home with a still warm bird in a flimsy plastic bag. It was a great day when we learned that the pork salesman had a grinder and we could pay him to grind our beef! We bought our beef at the market, hanging from a hook in the open air.  Once I tried to ask for a specific cut of meat by pointing and gesturing, but apparently all parts were the same; he had no idea what I meant and all cuts cost the same amount.  A small indoor store at the corner on the way to the outdoor market sold frozen chicken breasts. I'm pretty sure it was only the WorldTeach volunteers who bought them, but we really gave them our business!

The Outdoor Market we did our shopping

We often cooked at home because it was a walk to the restauraunts and we felt like we could eat a little more balanced diet at home.  Not to mention, it was often easier to cook than to order food!  We had a double burner stove top, small refrigerator, on and off microwave, an off more than on water heater, and a sink.  No cutting space, so we usually prepared food on the dinner table.  We were limited to a wok and a pot, so we learned to cook one dish wonders or cook one part of the meal at a time, like the locals do.  Things we frequently cooked were: oatmeal with bananas, oat and sesame granola with yogurt, tofu-potato pancakes, wide rice noodles with green beans and peanut sauce, mushroom-green bean noodles, stove top chicken and dumplings, chili (kind of), speghetti sauce from fresh tomatos, stove-top beef bourguignon, stir fry, sweet and sour chicken, and many Chinese dishes.  When they sold them for a brief while, we would have re-hydrated dried soup and a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch.  The grilled cheese wasn't very good; it was on sweet white bread and the sliced cheese was even worse than American.  But we loved the "American style" lunch and it was quick and comforting.

Cooking in our apartment- the windows often steemed up and we could always smell pork and peppers from the apartment above us wafting down through our vent

So many different types of white rice!!  Who knew?!

Some of the common dishes we have enjoyed while living here include:
- eggplant and greenbeans with garlic and red peppers
- hand-torn cabbage with vinegar and soy sauce

- pork and sliced carrots

- pumpkin served steamed or fried into small pancakes

- pork and spicy green peppers - this actually usually contained more peppers than pork!

- shredded potatoes with white rice vinegar

- 2 treasures - green peppers, cucumber, eggplant with garlic sauce

- cucumber with pork - cooked cucumber is delicious!

- cumin beef - beef green peppers, garlic chives, and tons of cumin. This was our favorite!!

- one-inch long slices of eggplant fried and served ontop of a thin egg omelette and covered in a dark sauce and bell peppers.

- sweet and sour fried pork

- Hand made dumplings - pork and mushroom, beef, vegetable and pork - all dipped in a combination of garlic, soy sauce, and vinegar

-Cauliflower - sometimes cooked with cumin and always cooked with garlic and fresh red peppers

- a whole chicken cut up and cooked with cinnamon, star of anise, and peppers (watch out for the feet and head!) - we picked our own live chicken from it's cage in the kitchen at "the chicken restaraunt"

- small fish (from microscopic rice grain size to anchovy size) deep fried

- boiled whole fish with ginger, peppers, and garlic (the best parts are apparently the tail, swim bladder, and cheeks but watch out for the bones!)

- Thin filets of white fish "boiled" in a pot of hot oil - these almost tasted buttery.

Joining American friends at the Frog Leg Restauraunt