I want to make friends with you!

Thursday Night English Corner at the Zhuzhou Teacher's College

We have been attending an English Corner at the local Teachers' College. The crowds of 19 year old students, mostly girls, who are excited about "practicing their oral English" with us can be incredibly overwhelming. They each individually ask us the same questions, one after the other like, "Can you give me some tips on how to improve my oral English?" "Can you tell me about your life experiences?"; "Tell me something about American culture."; "Tell me about American schools."; "If you were given a promotion at your job but you were expecting a baby, would you chose the job or chose being a mother?"; and of course, "What do you think of China?" Have you ever heard such loaded questions?! The funny thing is, there really is only one right answer to each question, despite what you might think. We've developed canned responses to many of the common questions, which we provide with a smile. If for a moment, the foreigner is not smiling, they think we are unhappy and want to remedy that immediately. I really am amazed at these students' ambition for learning English. They will go out of their way to practice speaking with us. After asking a few questions, or sometimes even before they introduce themselves to us, they ask for our telephone number, QQ number (like Chinese AIM), and email address along with the statement, "I'd like to make friends with you!" We have set up a Chinese-only friend email account and are incredibly glad we did so as it is deluged with the most bizarre and hilarious emails you've ever seen. For example:

I'm Barbara,do you remeber me now..? We met at the holl of our teaching building of Zhuzhou teacher's school at night several days ago,and you together with your patener --a really cool boy ,you kown. I asked for your e-mail adress and you're so kindly did so. We just talked a little while ,but you seems so nice ,I just want to get to kown you immediately... I special in Englidh Education,as a child I always have dreamed to be a nice teacher in the future...but ,now I'm really interested in traveling ,,,,what's more ,I really admire your guys who made your jorney just where you want,like traveling abroad...experience the entire world just by yourself... I know it's hard .whatever. By the way ,do you know Annette,she 's a beautiful old lady from your country-American came here once last year ... I contact with her by mail. Best wishes for you-a really
your's
Barbara

Here is a letter from an a girl whose English name is "White" and her classmate Mary:

Dear Tiffany, i am white , teacher's college student,do you remeber me? last night, i took part in the english corner i was on top of he world .especially, i can talk with you about my feeling. so my friend, mary and i want to make friend with you, at the same time, we want to learn english from you . we hope you can take some time from each week to be our tutor .if you can accept our request, we feel so happy. thank you !
white and mary

Here is a letter from one of the better English speakers (and the one who asked me about motherhood). Her name is Helen because her role model is Helen Keller. She wants to be independent just like her. (In my opinion, Helen Keller is strong and brave, but not completely independent. To each her own. . .):

dear David and the beautiful woman teacher(sorry that I forgot your name), My name is Helen,it has been a very nice to talk with you. I'm looking forward to meeting you two next time. By the way,I wonder if you would be willing to send me some of the pictures we took tonight,thank you ! take care!
Yours sincerely,Helen.

Needless to say, it's become a lot of fun for us to check our email after English corner every Thursday night!

English corner is 2 hours long every Thursday evening. They love having us attend, we really can't turn it down anymore. Besides, I think it's a great way for us to make an impression on people who will soon be teaching English. We are glad to attend, but extremely tired after 2 hours of similar conversations, not to mention, the English Corner is a 35 minute walk to and from our school and is held on the 8th floor of a creepy run down, dimly-lit teaching building without elevators!

The students generally have a presentation at the beginning, then a contest to see who can read a tongue twister the fastest (not the best way to practice oral English...but they didn't listen to that answer) and group discussions. Usually, the topic is quickly dismissed and the students crowd around each foreigner to ask the same questions over and over again. Then, the last hour is open conversation...for more questions. To name a few: "What is your favorite food in China?" "Where have you been in China?" and "Can you use chopsticks?"

I think these students are strong, excitable, and hard working. Most have little to no money other than what they've already spent on tuition. More than 3 yuan (or about 45 cents) for a meal is "expensive." But when they are out with us, they want to pay for things and buy us presents because they are so hospitable. I hope that we've helped them with becoming comfortable talking to foreigners. Many tell me they are very nervous to speak with me. In return for us helping them with Oral English, the students have been more than helpful to us. They are anxious to go with us places (like the doctor, or the copy shop) and serve as incredible translators. Most recently, one of the girls we met invited us to her cousins traditional Chinese wedding. I wonder if we would have known the intimate parts of China as we do now without these college students.

Similar "instant friendships" and photo-ops are common occurrences elsewhere around town too. For example, last night we met with 6 other Americans volunteering in our city for dinner. The restaurant was thrilled to have so many foreigners visit, and at the end of our meal, the one waitress who knew some English came to our table to first ask, "What do you think of our restaurant?" Then, after we provided the obligatory overwhelmingly positive remarks she added, "We have some thoughts in our minds. Could we take a photo with you?" We of course agreed, and went downstairs to take our photo with the waitress. After we were all arranged and posed for our picture the owner of the restaurant realized that he did not have a camera (This "small" detail often seems to get lost here in the excitement of the prospect of taking a photo with a foreigner). Luckily, one of the waitresses pulled out her camera phone, and an incredibly blurry picture was taken.

No matter who we meet, whether it be an electrician speeding by us on his Moto in the park, a cigarette vendor, a noodle maker, or a student, the second question we almost always get is , "Can I have your number?" I understand the students asking, but I really wonder what the others think we are going to talk about when they call us. They are so patient with our Chinese in person. They will ask the same question time and time again, thinking maybe this time we will understand their slurred, incredibly fast dialect. They rarely provide an alternate word or slow down their speech. They just keep repeating. I think they just don't have any experience with speaking to someone who speaks another language. They genuinely want to ask us questions, and will take all the time in the world to do so. We, however, are less patient with such situations and feel awkward having to repeatedly say "I don't understand." Occasionally we finally get it, sometimes we just pretend like we understood, and other times we tell the person we will look this word up in our dictionary at home and get back to them the next time we see them. Regardless of the conversations successful or not so successful outcome, they want our phone number and email address. I love when they type our name into their phone. Of course we give them our Chinese names, because they wouldn't know what to do with the Roman alphabet. I only know how to say my Chinese name though, not write it. And each pronunciation has multiple characters. They always ask, which is the correct character in my name. I say "Yes, that's the one" to the first one they show me...I have no idea. At first I was skeptical of giving our phone number away, but I soon learned it was like having a souvenir. They never call. Only the ones who speak a little English call us back. The others just keep the foreigners phone number stored in their cell phone as a conversation piece or for a good laugh later on.

The first question a stranger asks us of course is directed to David, "You look like a Chinese? Are you Chinese?" We both have gotten really good at explaining he his "half blood" and that he nor his father can speak Chinese. They are glad to know his grandfather did though.

We are quite popular around here and have made more "friends" than ever before in our lives. After a week of not seeing one of them, they will squeal about how much they missed us and how they are so glad to see us again. I wonder if it's overly dramatic, or if they really feel that way. Unfortunately, of the limited number of foreigners that come to this part of China, many have alternate motives and, lets face it, they didn't come here for the high salary or beautiful scenery. Some of these people are downright creepy. I worry that the students cannot differentiate between the sleazy foreigners and the well-meaning ones. I am proud of our organization bringing well-intentioned teachers to this part of the world and I hope that our friendships will leave a positive lasting impression on all of our new friends, even if they never actually call us back!